Tasting Notes 10/28

STERLING RUBICON AND THE BLOODY BARREL, 10/28/11

LETH GRUNER VELTLINER 2010

Sterling Rubicon is a wine hero for the ages, a man among men, strong and unshakeable, fearless in the face of danger.  Touring Napa on Halloween evening, he spots an unfamiliar sign, the words “Ghost Woods Winery” seemingly pulsing blood red in the light of a full moon.  He motions for his driver and sidekick, Caymus Montelena, to pull in.  He sips this gorgeous Gruner, with its concentrated citrus flavors and intense, crisp acidity, wondering where his sudden sense of foreboding came from.  91 points Wine Enthusiast.  $14.97.

14 HANDS MERLOT 2009

They cruise the fog-shrouded, willow-lined driveway, stray branches scraping their Lincoln like skeletal fingers.  Sterling downs a taste of this, relishing its subtle flavors of cherry, boysenberry, pie crust and allspice, augmented by supple tannins and a lengthy, lush finish.  He gapes at the winery building, whose dark, sunken door and windows make it look like a giant skull.  Sterling can’t help but shiver from an inexplicable chill that reaches deep into his marrow.  $9.97.

AHNFELDT CUVEE 2006

They step out of the car as a chilling breeze slaps them like a cold, dead hand.  Caymus takes a nervous gulp of this blend, comforted by its perfumed nose and integrated tannins framing flavors of black cherry, blackberry and vanilla.  A soul-piercing scream stabs through the night air.  Sterling and Caymus bolt for the entrance.  90 points Bill.  $16.97.

ARGENTO RESERVE MALBEC 2009

They burst inside to find a decidedly lovely but unfortunately lifeless woman on the tasting room floor, her name tag reading “Vella Rose.”  Sterling avoids the stink of death by burying his nose in a glass of this, enjoying its deep aromas of blackberry, raisin, and vanilla spice.  He drinks in its lush, layered flavors of berry, coffee and chocolate.  90 WE.  $12.97.

R TOURIGA 2009

Sterling shakes his head sadly at the broken wine glass in her right hand and the two bite marks on her neck.  “What fiend destroys a beautiful young life and a perfectly good Riedel in one fell swoop?”  A rumbling, menacing growl comes from the dark hallway leading to the barrel room.  Caymus fortifies himself with a slug of this, comforted by smooth, balanced flavors of dark berries, cherries, and rich oak.  92 points Bill.  $25.97.

MONDAVI NAPA CABERNET 2007

They dash down the hall, chasing heavy footsteps that disappear into a fluttering of wings.  They leap into the barrel room, where Sterling downs a quick glass of this, smacking his lips from its silky tannins and deep flavors of cassis, blackberry, graphite and cedar.  Caymus grabs a thief and dips it into a nearby barrel.  “What kind of oak is this, boss?  American, French, Hungarian?”  Sterling eyes the barrel with dismay.  “Transylvanian.  Don’t drink that!”  He knocks the thief away just before the liquid gushes into Caymus’s mouth.  It smashes on the floor, splattering blood.  90 points Robert Parker.  $17.97.

FAUST NAPA CABERNET 2008

The fluttering sound descends behind them.  They whirl to find a seriously pissed off Dracula.  “That was a particularly fine vintage you spilled.”  He bares his fangs and advances.  Sterling leaps behind the barrel, shouting, “Caymus, quickly!”  They hoist the barrel and tip it.  Dracula screams, “No!”  The barrel crashes to the floor and splinters, waves of blood bursting forth.  Dracula drops to his knees in a panic, scooping up blood with a wine glass.  Sterling yanks a sharp, broken stave from the barrel.  Leaps toward Dracula and drives the stave through his evil heart.  Dracula shrieks and falls in a lifeless heap.

Sterling sighs with relief.  Pours himself a glass of this delightful Cab and enjoys its supple blackberry, nutmeg, dark chocolate, violet and spice aromas and flavors, along with its complex finish.  “All in a day’s work, right, Caymus?”  He turns to find his friend in the grasp of Vella Rose, now a vampire herself!  “All in a day’s death would be more accurate,” she hisses.  “Wait!” he exclaims, as she bends to sink her fangs into his neck.  Sterling proffers his glass.  “This is much better, I promise.”  “It couldn’t be.”  “But it is.  So rich and delicious, so mesmerizingly sinful, so tantalizingly decadent.  It is entirely worthy of a woman as beautiful as you.”

She pauses, unable to resist his words and his charm.  He makes quick eye contact with Caymus, who stomps on her foot.  She howls in rage.  Sterling throws the Cab in her face, blinding her.  He snatches another broken stave and stabs her through the chest.  “Now that’s impressive cleavage,” he mutters as she collapses, dead.  “Close one, boss,” Caymus says with gratitude.  “Weren’t you worried?”  “Of course not.  I had Cabernet in my hand, and we know there’s nothing it can’t do.”  They smile and leave.  “Let’s go find ourselves a fun Halloween party.”