Wine Rules

Ah, rules. Our lives are stuffed with them. And who does the stuffing? Occasionally we do. But most often it’s them. The government. Or the boss. The parents, the spouse, the cops, the bureaucrats. And yes, sometimes it’s the “wine police.”

You know who I mean. Those snobby “experts,” the so-called “connoisseurs.” The self-styled arbiters of all that is holy and true regarding wine. “Red wine with meat.” “White wine with fish.” “Rose only in summer, and only on picnics.” “If it’s under $20 it’s probably crap.” On and on and on.

Well, bull. As far as I’m concerned there are only 2 rules of wine. First, drink what you like. Second, find lots of things to like. If this sounds incredibly simple that’s because it is.

After all, wine is comfort food. Comfort juice, if you will. It’s phenomenal with food and friends and is an integral part of a great life. So why get shook up about rules? Just drink what you like! Cab with grilled swordfish – why not? Viognier with carne asada – I’m in! Seriously. Don’t sweat the wine list, don’t worry what the waiter or sommelier thinks, and don’t get caught up in price anxiety. If you find a bottle that you think will work, and it doesn’t mug your wallet, go for it.

“Think will work,” you say? “What if I’m not sure what will work? What if my usual wine isn’t on the list or in the shop?” Okay, then. Ask. That snooty server may turn out to be “just folks” if you engage him or her politely and let them know what you typically enjoy. Or that guy in the wine shop may know a wine of the same price that will thrill you even more than what you’re used to drinking. Of course, if you’re asking for something comparable to La Crema chardonnay and they wrestle you to what I like to call “the nosebleed section” of wine buying, i.e. the $100 club, then it might be time to find a new wine shop or restaurant. Because it’s not about them. It’s about you.

I know, I know. All too often that’s not the case. It’s about them making the sale, hitting a number, increasing their profits. But you’re a customer, not an account. You want a relationship, not a parasite. Find someone who will get to know you and your tastes, and help you enjoy them… and then extend them!

That’s why I threw in that second rule. The world of wine is ever expanding, with a breathtaking array of regions, varieties, winemakers, and styles. So, yeah, if you love chardonnay then keep rocking chard! But if you’re drinking only Napa versions you might be missing something. So “travel” the world. Sip one from Santa Barbara, Monterey, or Sonoma Coast. Try Australia, New Zealand, Chile, or France. Sure, maybe you’ll end up back in Napa. Or maybe one day you’ll cozy up to a bottle of Austrian gruner veltliner and never look back. Either way, it’s a heck of a fun trip.

So there they are, my two rules. Drink what you like, and find plenty of stuff to like. But do we even need those two? Like I said at the top, we’re already up to our hairlines in laws, how-to’s, and regulations. How ‘bout this? No rules, just wine. Now that’s a rule I can live with.